After an 18-year-marriage ended in divorce eight months ago (we separated eight months before that), I tried to see some positives in what was not a very pleasant situation. I was thinking that it does give me the opportunity to sort of reinvent or re-create my life at 46. How many people get to do that without having to negotiate that with a spouse? Well, I don't think I'm doing well at seeing where I could go, what I could do. I don't want to stay where I am but I don't just want to change locations and career simply for the sake of changing. I never wanted to move to my current location -- tried to make the best of it. But without the marriage it doesn't make much sense to stay here. I switched careers several years ago and I am not particularly happy in my current one. I'm well educated and generally resourceful. My problem is this inertia I have to take a specific step in It's like I am frozen with indecision. I've never been indecisive in my life. I feel like I have very little self-confidence, and I do attribute that to the divorce. I have even lost some interest in dating. I'm reluctant to get into a relationship that might keep me in my current location. I'm also reluctant to really get involved when I don't know what I want for my own life. But on the other hand, I feel pretty socially isolated and I know I am lonely. Frankly, I miss sex and I miss physical affection. That isn't helping my state of mind to be distracted by that either. I managed to get through a horrible divorce, rise eventually out of depression and problems with anxiety, and now I just want to get my life in order and focused toward the future. I should add that my only child will go off to college next year. I am very concerned that two big life changes -- a divorce and my daughter going off to pursue her own dreams (which I want her to do) -- and having to put all that in perspective -- are keeping me from developing a path for myself. Where to begin?
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